GETTING INTO YOUR INTERVIEWER'S HEAD Mini Course Prt II
You can write your own ticket to the top!
Hey guys! It's Thursday, and we are into the second ELITE MATERIAL of GYIH Mini course!
But before we rattle the waters, here is something that happened to me this week:
On Monday this week, I bumped into a friend of mine in town. I was very excited to see her so I went into… “Wow, nice to meet you? How’s the going”.
She gave me a half smile and said “…Umm…am okay...just doing fine” I could tell something was not okay. Her half smile didn’t fool me…so I warmed up to her and probed a little bit deeper just to know what’s bothering her (she is normally very excited by default). After sometime; she opened up… she confident to me…. “Things have become very tough for me. I can’t make the ends meet. I’m paid peanuts and life has become rough for me”
Back-Date Three Years Ago
The first time we met was three years ago; she was pursuing a certain field in college; but after completion; things did not turn out well as she expected. She stepped out into the world of career and was greeted with unexpected experience. Remember how I tell you that we are stupid when in college? It’s true! Me too, I was. As college students; we are delusional; and we usually think that the world owes us everything!
We think employers will be scuttling for us immediately after college. But what happens when we step out? It turns out that things are different in the career- world; and we were just building castles in the air. We are greeted by the shock that employers are not impressed by our grades; and the world seems to be busy with its own issues; ignoring us—as if we never existed. As if we never scored anything worth its attention!
Yes, I know it; because I was greeted with the same shock!
You look around you; and everybody seems to be moving upward—EXCEPT you. You meet five years down the line with your college mates; and you want to hide. You can’t stand the contrast—and you do not want to be associated with then because they have made steps in their career; and you haven’t.
I had met this friend of mine severally—immediately after she was through with her college. I talked her into doing something about her career but she won’t care (by then things were not as rough). Talk about being short-sighted—like most of people are.
Forward three years and things have changed drastically. She is in a job that she cannot scale-up. If she gets fired today; she would get back to the trenches. This is because she hasn’t done anything to raise her game. She has been doing the same thing for three years; and now everyone can do what she does. So she is now is now easily replaceable. To make the matters worse; her boss knows that; and so she has lost control!
She hasn’t made an effort to do something about getting in control of her career. Much of what she had done in the past was whining; and spinning her wheels in motion never doing anything. You see, it’s easy for you to sit there and complain about how the government has failed to create more job opportunities. It’s easy to rant; dance and sing the media’s song … “There are no jobs left anymore”. We blame everyone!
A Great Career Is Not Something That ‘Happens’ To You
I remember last year; a national TV aired some news; casually interviewing degree holders who resulted into jobs like becoming a gate-keeper security guard. These graduates adumbrated that they went for that because there were no jobs left. So they took what was available. Think about that statement for a while: “…I took what was available”
For how long will you keep doing that? And what happens if that which is available is no longer there? I am not condescending anyone here; but I am disapproving this mindset. Do we sit and wait for jobs to happen to us? And if it doesn’t; do we just walk around validating our situations? You can validate you situation for now; but it’s not going to take long before you realize you are not fooling anyone but yourself. There is something you can do about; and starting to do it right now is what you MUST do.
When those news were aired; I watched the masses and college graduates respond with a buzz; whining and raving how there are no jobs whatsoever in country. But I never so one person who took personal responsibility and said….
“…You know what? We might have undergraduates resulting into being watchmen. We may be having fewer jobs in the country. The government might have failed in one way or the other; but what can I do to make sure I am among the few who get the jobs we have? What’s my role in this; and have I done what I should do to take total control of my career?”
It’s easy to shove away responsibility for taking control of our lives; and career. It’s easy to point fingers at others; but NEVER look into ourselves and get honest with ourselves. Few of us question our own failures as far as getting in control; and directing our career is concerned.
Most of us sit; and wait; and wait for something to happen. We wait for someone to give us the ‘promised job’--now that we are through with college! The honest truth is: IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
We think that career is something that happens to us; and not one we can control. If it does not happen; we resign to what comes.
Today is 10th February 2015. Years will pass by. Five years from now; someone will have taken action toward building his or her career. He shall be in a better place. Another one will keep dancing the media’s song of ‘joblessness’; and they shall be in a worse situation five years from now; than they are currently.
You decide which of this you will become. Will you be like my good friend who refused to take control of her career; and now she is realizing that if she had done that; her life would be different now? Or will you be the guy who will have taken charge; and build his career? You decide!
Maybe you have a job; but you have beaten yourself every Monday morning when the alarm goes on. You hate getting back to that office cubicle where you spend your previous day. You yearn to work with a challenging team. You long to be working in a company of top performers; so you can become better. You promise yourself…“I will do it next year”; yet year after year you keep falling back to the folly of self-deception and inaction.
While you may not realize now; the fact is: working in an organization that is not challenging you to grow; and pushing you beyond what you have always known; dampens your intellect; and will ultimately cost you more; than the mere check they write for you at the end of the month.
Working with exceptional performers; rising to become a star performer; and taking control of your career helps you become better in every aspect of life. Get this right: Your environment shapes you. Hang around with average; and you will only know what you have always known. What that means is you will stay where you have always been; do what you have always done; and get the results you already have right now—which are not that good.
While I am showing you how to take control of your career; and ace in your dream-job; there is more to that than a great career; and better compensation. TEP is about building a life for yourself; and writing your own ticket to go where otherwise you would not. It’s about drafting your own gate-pass to go where others are not allowed; so you hear; learn; and interact with the best. And you can do it; because I am here to show you how.
This is the second elite material of the GYIH Mini Course. (Click here to read the first material) The GYIH Mini course is more than just getting into your interviewer’s head: ‘it’s about deconstructing the victim’s MINDSET and constructing a WINNING MENTAL framework; that will sustain you at the top in the long run. Much of what gets us stuck--I have discovered lately--is our mindset; and NOT the barriers we think we are facing. Once you build the right mindset; you start to see what others can’t see; you exude high degree of competency; and you become irresistible. Most important; you have a mental framework to sustain your success in the long run.
The Social Skill-Set That Sets You Apart
Today we are going several layers deep into how you can get into your interviewers head and knock out of the park your dream-job interview. Remember we are into social dynamics—which play the greatest role in your interview.
The elite materials you will be getting in this Mini Course are exceptional. They will help you make that change in career you have always desired; if you take action and do the things that I show you here. You will be able to nail that dream-job and start to pave your own path into a career you are proud of.
And if you are already in a great career; the material in this course will help you to take it to the next level. If you have awesome career already; then that is great—CONGRATULATIONS--these material will help you to become more irresistible; influential; and powerful—even in the business arena and social life.
So, let’s dive into today’s material (but if you haven’t read the first material I released on Monday; that is where you should start: click here to read it. ). And like a master sculptor; we are driving our curving knife a little deeper; whittling into shape our careers:
- Use Your Hand Gestures To Interview Like Pro
The great day has come. We are now walking into the interview-room; we own a powerful stance; we get to sit like the ‘powerful ones’. Then it’s the time for the interview. This is the day we’ve been waiting.
It’s time to leverage on something that only few people know how to use it: Our Hand gestures. Or is it necessary to use hand gestures anyway? If yes; how do I use them like a seasoned interviewee to get the interviewer on my side of story? And most important; what should I avoid doing with my hand gestures to avoid coming across as inexperienced greenhorn candidate?
I will show you exactly that; but before I do: Ever watched the early morning interviews on the national and international best TV channels? Ever seen the elite class being interviewed on a national TV? (Hint: These are the shows you should be watching; if you want to assume high levels of social competency).
If you have; you know they use hand gesture to drive their points; and answer tough interview questions. And you too; must learn how to use them correctly.
But first off; here is what you MUST NOT DO, when gesturing:
Raising Your Hands Above Your Chest
When you are using your hand gestures; NEVER raise your hands high above your chest. Interview rooms are not a martial art contests! Raising your hands high above your chest sub-communicates EXTREME AGGRESSIVENESS. You sub-communicate that you are terrified and trying to defend yourself. You come across as too adversarial! That is the last message you want to send to your interviewers.
Watch less accomplished politicians on morning shows. Observe how they respond –especially when they are cornered by the interviewer. They get aggressive and amplify their hand gestures raising their hands to the chest-level as they bail themselves out. Notice how they also--ALMOST every time--gesture right in front of their chest. Don’t be a rookie politician in the interview room!
How More Of Hand Gestures?
Assume a relatively low-position hand gestures. Avoid being aggressive in your gestures by making them calmly! Don’t throw your hands all over; because that means you are unable to articulate yourself; and trying to get your hands do the articulation for you! If you cannot say what you want to say; save your hands the pain! How the hell could your hands know any better than you do? That is why you should go in prepared.
And we shall cover how to answer questions like a hard-boiled performer by the end of this GYIH Mini course (Hint: Many candidates do not know how to answer interview questions; so your will be 90% better than your interviewing peers in the interview- room)
How Star-Performers Use The Hand Gestures:
Compare a rookie politician; and an accomplished CEO! What differentiates them when they have been asked a tough question in those early morning interview shows on a national TV?
Here is what you observe; and it is what you should do. Highly accomplished CEO usually keeps their hands slightly above their belt; when gesturing. That’s the right level. Your chest and the rest of your body should not be barred from your interviewer. But even more subtle tech—and highly important--all highly accomplished people have VERY SMOOTH and CALM GESTURING. Their hand gestures are CLEVERLY SYNCHRONIZED with THEIR WORDS. They ARE IN AGREEMENT!
Watch them as they emphasize on a point. They so subtly employ their hand-gestures; that the interviewer find him/herself—unknowingly—following their hand movement as they stress on the point. They so deftly do it; that the interviewer gets carried away; and find him/herself agreeing with them. Pay attention here: this has DEEP PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT on your interviewer. They get on board UNKNOWINGLY! You have them on their own game!
Notice also; as they gesture; these masters of the social competency do not gesture from the front always. In fact, mostly gesture from the side; keeping their torso and chest open to the person they are talking to! This makes the conversation NON-ADVERSARIAL! That is important; and sub-communicates OPENNESS; builds TRUST; and you come across as POWERFUL; RELIABLE candidate; and one who is at ease!
That is what you MUST maintain throughout the interview. It shows that you have nothing to hide; raises your CREDIBILITY; and BUILDS RAPPORT between the interviewer and the interviewee.
One More Thing Skilled Social Elites Do
You’ve heard people say, ‘First impression matters’; and that’s for sure. But the problem with this; is that they never tell you what to do after make that first impression. There is more into social skills than a BIG SMILE and a FIRM HANDSHAKE. What do you do after that?
Hey, have noticed that ‘Pick-Up Line’ businesses committed suicide some years ago? And ‘Pick-Up Artist’ left their business and went home? When this businesses kicked in; it was a boom; and then after a short period; it collapsed! Pick-Up Artists were a ‘one-time hit’; but they could not beat the social-world business market.
Here is why:
They did not teach their clients what to do beyond the ‘pick-up line.’ So their clients did not know HOW TO MAINTAIN and ENGAGING INTERACTION with the gal they were ‘picking on’!”
They (clients) then realized the whole thing was a crap!
It is one thing to say ‘a crammed pick-up line’ to attract a lady; but it’s another thing to retain that attraction through your interaction. The Elite knows that ATTRACTION is important; but retaining the ATTRACTION and the ATTENTION as you continue to build connection throughout the whole interaction is the most critical of all things. That is the most important part. That is what makes your interaction last; memorable and imprint your name on the other party’s mind!
‘Pick-Up Lines’ business didn’t teach its customers how to do that. So, by experience; these clients realized that they were being sold a bill of goods. They stopped enlisting for the services and the business owners. So what happened? The Pick-Up Artists packed and went home to become peasant farmers!
These guys’ tactics on ‘picking-up ladies’ were so fluid. There was nothing solid. There was no STRUCTURE to hold attention of the other person. So, their tactics were not effective; sustainable; and could not deliver results to their customers. So much so; that even their clients just ended up dripping through the cracks between their fingers.
The Point? Having seasoned social skill-set is critical to winning in the interview. You need to be able to be engaging beyond the first impression. There is a good reason I am not giving you the superficial earthbound advice you have always heard about being socially competent.
That’s WHY I did not start the social-skill set by telling you “…When you get to the interview room, give a BIG PLASTIC SMILE to your interviewers and a FIRM HANDSHAKE”? That would be a total BS if you do not know what to do next. I don’t want you to be that stupid! I want you to be smart; and able to keep it attractive throughout your interaction with your interviewer. (And you can utilize what you learn here in all your social interactions—including your friends at coffee shops; and your clients—not just interview)
Ever seen how those who buy into the idea of merely wearing that Big Smile; and giving a firm handshake bomb it? They do those two; then realize that the conversation is not over. They do not know what to do next. They look around; as an awkward silence hangs in the air. They wish to die as a cloud of embarrassment hovers above their head. They realize that was not enough; and as they fumble for words and composure; their fake-smiley faces transitions to one of a serial killer. They botch the whole interaction!
By the way; classic example of this social incompetency at professional level; is when you ask a candidate the opening interview question “Tell us about yourself?” after the greeting.
I will not allow you to make those mistakes. I will take you deeper on how to maintain attraction; and build your credibility and trust; right in front of your interviewer and your friends in social interactions.
So there is the stupidity of ‘THE PLASTIC SMILE and FIRM HANDSHAKE’ idea of first impression. It never works if you cannot go several layers below the surface.
Let me show you one more thing accomplished communicators do; that the rest don’t:
- The Lean-In Social tech
They LEAN IN. Leaning-in builds rapport; adds to your CREDIBILITY and TRUST. It’s like when you are talking to your friends, and then you lean in to confide something to their ears. You come across as FRIENDLY and NOT ADVERSARIAL. You create an atmosphere of a friendly talk. Note: I am not telling you to go and whisper something to the ear of your interviewer—you are smarter than that. You lean-in strategically from where you are; as you talk. Very simple social tech; but it works magic!
Here is something you MUST AVOID as you lean in. If you kind hear your interviewer clearly NEVER lean in directly forward to hear what he/she is saying. Leaning in DIRECTLY FORWARD sub-communicates WEAKNESS. And that is the last thing you want to communicate. Notice that this applies in all social interactions. If you can’t hear what the interviewer is saying; instead of leaning forward; turn your head slightly; so that your ear faces the interviewer; then lean in slightly.
By doing that; you will be able to hear clearly. He/she will also notice that he is not being loud enough. Powerful people never lean in directly forward to anyone in all their social interactions. It’s off-putting. If you still cannot get the interviewer clearly; you can request him/her to be audible enough.
When you strategically lean in as you respond to your interviewer; you come across as seasoned communicator; and highly competent and accomplished professional. You build an instant connection; and psychologically; you get your interviewer to start feeling like “He has known you for a while.” You get him/her on board; and while you may not get all the answers right; you will have worn the interviewer’s trust.
Notice: Interviewers cannot resist such social subtle competency prowess. That is how you get them to start salivating for you; before even the interview is over! By using these correctly; you are writing your own ticket into the company!
What We’ve learnt:
#. 1. Give the right hand gestures: calm; calculated; and in synch with what you are saying. Don’t raise your hands above your chest.
#. 2. Lean in strategically. But avoid leaning in directly forward; when you can hear your interviewer clearly. Slightly turn aside to have your ear face him/she; the lean in slightly. Else request the interviewer to be audible enough.
#. 3. The importance of building WINNER’S MINDSET to sustain your success and competency in the long run. Remember the only time you will get stuck is when it happens in your own mind.
What Is The One Thing You Have Learnt?
Now, do one more thing: leave a comment and tell me one thing you have learnt you have being doing it wrong. What was the situation when you made the mistake and what happened? Be very specific and open—we all make this mistake at one point in our lives!
I read all your comments!
Go practice those social tech with your friends over the weekend; and make them part of your life!
See you here on Monday next week for the THIRD ELITE MATERIAL—it keeps getting better and better!
Prince
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