WARNING: Before we get into anything, let me get this off the table. This material is for those who already have a job. But feel as if they are stuck to ‘pushing papers’; or doing mere ‘tech-coding’.
Those who feel they are not RECOGNIZED; RESPECTED--by their bosses and co-workers. And their job has turned STALE—just another routine in exchange for a paycheck.
So, if you’re just starting out in the job market. Or want the ‘bolts and nuts’ of where to start in the competitive job market—plus what to expect--feel free to skip this material for now.
Instead, here are VALUABLE materials to get you up to speed. Click here; and here; plus here. Also, make sure to check out this; this; and this. Plus, this MUST read.
By the time you finish learning from those materials; you will be 90% better and competitive--in the job market-- than your peers. And then, you can come back to this material later.
Okay…, now that I got you covered; back to my readers who already have jobs.
Column-Reader’s Question And Frustration
Sometimes back this year, I read a reader’s question and frustration—in a daily nation job column—directed to a career expert. The REAL reader’s question was “SHOULD I QUIT?”
It went something like this (not the exact words used):
“Hi, Mr. Career Expert!
My name is Zippy. And I have worked in this particular company for some time now, but I have a problem.
There are ‘SPECIAL CLIQUES’ comprising of some of my co-workers. There is this group that seems very close to our immediate manager. They often meet with him and discuss a lot together (job related stuff).
He VALUES; RECOGNIZES; and seems to RESPECT them MORE than some of us. Sometimes he even TAKES THEM OUT FOR LUNCH.
I have tried to break into the “cliquey group” and become part of the “special ones”; but I won’t get included. I feel I am not being RECOGNIZED; RESPECTED; and as if what I do is NOT VALUED.
I am tired of seeing this happen every day; and I feel stuck and like quitting the job.
What can I do? Is there a way to end this office-politics at work place--where some people seem to be PREFERRED to others?
Should I confront and report my manager to the top management? And if yes, how do I do it without getting myself into trouble with my boss?
Or should I just QUIT? I am TIRED…advice me!”
. *****
Does this dilemma sound familiar to any of you guys?
If you have had a job; you should be familiar with it. Either your friends have found themselves in such a dilemma; or you have fallen into it yourself; or you’re probably there--right now.
Even worse, you might have been ACCUSED and RESENTED by your co-workers for belonging to such cliques in which they could not break into.
Digging Deeper…
But let’s look beneath-the-surface story; of this frustrated job-column-reader. What’s the real problem here?
Is it ‘Office politics’ as she claims? Why does she want to quit her job? Is it because she’s stuck in her position; and being excluded by her co-workers? Could it be that she HATES her job?
Well, when you dig into her story; 3 psychological truths come up:
• She’s NOT really stuck in a BAD job; or tired of it: Her REAL PROBLEM is that she doesn’t feel RECOGNIZED and RESPECTED.
• Office politics” is NOT the problem: It’s most likely that the “Office politics” doesn’t even exist as she claims-- except in her mind. Because had she been receiving EXPLICIT recognition; she won’t bother who hangs out with who. (She would even have her own “Special clique”)
• Quitting her job or reporting her immediate supervisor WON’T be a SOLUTION: She would probably regret it. First, because she will not have solved the problem. And second, because she ACTUALLY doesn’t resent her job.
Plus, most likely, the fact that her co-workers in this cliquey are highly respected has nothing to do with 'office politics'. Reporting her immediate manager of ‘office politics’ is likely to turn out as a FALSE ACCUSATION she cannot substantiate—costing her the job.
So, what’s she supposed to do? Suck it up? And why does she think this is all about ‘office politics’?
The later question is simple. IT’S EASY TO BLAME AND RESENT others; rather than looking inward and asking ourselves: “Could I have contributed to this situation in any way? If yes, how can I change it?”
As to whether she should suck it up; heck NO! She shouldn’t!
And I will be showing you how to solve such a dilemma…
We Don’t QUIT Because We Hate It
Most people feel like quitting their jobs—like that reader above. They resent what they do--every day in their office cubicles. But more often than not; the problem is not that they ACTUALLY resent their job; what they do; or are literally stuck in their jobs. NO!
That’s not why most people want to quit!
The problem is MEANING. We want to QUIT because our jobs feels MEANINGLESS! And that happens when we ‘feel’ or we are NOT:
- Being RECOGNIZED for our efforts.
- Being RESPECTED for what we do by our co-workers
- Being VALUED for our contribution by our bosses.
This is a deep psychological need. It may seem trivia from the surface-level--because you are receiving your monthly paycheck anyway. Bu it’s equally as IMPORTANT as the paycheck itself—or more as your career advances.
Contrary to what most people think; we are not ROBOTS who want to work—just for the paycheck. We want RESPECT; and RECOGNITION.
We want to ‘KNOW’ and ‘FEEL’ that our work has ‘MEANING’. We want to KNOW we are using our SKILLS; KNOWLEDGE; and EXPERIENCE to make POSITIVE IMPACT in that company; or to our bosses—and in the grand scheme of things; to the world.
But often times, we think this is NOT something WE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN. We feel we CANNOT CONTROL it; and that it’s in our boss’s domain. If he doesn’t get to recognize you for your effort; you just have to sit there and wait—because there is NOTHING you can do.
And if it never happens, you should just quit!
But What If…
But what if I told you there’s a way to earn respect; recognition; and get valued—even if you’ve been ignored before?
What if I told you, you can make it happen; and that over 80% you are in control and can get the recognition; and respect you want from your boss? And then showed you exactly what to do; and how to do it!
How would that change your career? What would be different in your 8-5 job if you implement what I would show you?
Surface-Level REWARD Of Recognition
From the surface-level, this is what earning recognition and respect would get you: MORE SATISFACTION; HAPPINESS; and MEANING to your 8-5 job. And you would be jumping out of your bed EXCITED--every morning--knowing you are going to be doing something that matter.
Those benefits may sound self-serving; and trivia. But are they?
Most of us would want to have MEANINGFUL jobs. And if we can be shown how to make that happen—through a step-by-step systematic process—we would do it. And I will show you how!
But if you thought earning recognition and respect at your job, only serves the surface-level needs of your SATISFACTION and HAPPINESS; you are wrong.
Let me show you the LONG-TERM; tangible and intangible REWARDS--because these are the ones that make all the difference over the entire course of your career.
Deeper-Level REWARDS Of Recognition
Beneath the surface of SELF-SATISFACTION and HAPPINESS in your 8-5 job; here are more subtle; yet powerful long-term rewards:
• It Primes You For Promotions: Only those who are respected and recognized team-players get promotions—NOT merely the hard working. And that happens because their bosses can rely on them to deliver.
• It Sets You up for Earning More: If no one explicitly sees your value; no one would think you deserve higher compensation. Plus, people get compensated based on the quantifiable value they bring on board—NOT because they have been around the block long enough.
• Accelerated Professional Development: We all know those people who are respected and recognized--by their bosses and co-workers--for what they do. They get more professional training—paid by the company--than everyone else. So they can do more for the company.
• Flexibility and Privileges: There’s NOTHING morally WRONG with getting more privileges than others. More often than not; the people who are on the receiving end of these privileges EARN them. They get FLEXIBLE work schedules and it doesn’t just happen accidentally.
• Exposure to More Opportunity and Challenging Work: Those who are respected; valued; and recognized get to talk in those company meetings (they almost naturally get leadership roles—without asking).
They are given more challenging tasks (not spreadsheets); and handed over opportunities as they come. Plus much more!
Do you see why learning how to earn recognition is NOT a petty thing; or self-serving?
Do you see how this is not an egocentric thing; and at a deeper-level has more rewards than just “feeling good”?
Do you notice how it’s ethical? (Because to earn it; you need to provide value in return.)
It’s a WIN-WIN. And has nothing to do with SELF-ENTITLEMENT. It’s key to your career growth. Plus it ADDS VALUE to the company or/and your boss.
But, you knew some; or ALL those rewards. We know respect and recognition can change the trajectory of our careers—and life. So, why is it that we don’t do something about it—even when we know how powerful it can be?
“…Because most of us don’t know how?” You may say. But that’s not the real reason. Even after I show you how to do it; some of you won’t? The question is: WHY?
Why We Won’t Earn Our Boss’s Respect Even Though We Can
The greatest barrier is not because we “DON’T KNOW HOW” (we can learn that). It’s because we have “mental barriers”. These are the “invisible scripts in our heads” that keeps telling us how; and why trying to gain respect and recognition is a BAD THING.
I can show you how to do it; but if we haven’t conquered these psychological barriers; we won’t even dare implement a single thing.
So, let’s expose some of these invisible scripts so you can easily recognize them when they try to shaft you from reaping all the REWARDS of recognition and respect at your job.
Here are some COMMON Invisible Scripts:
• “It’s EVIL to seek RESPECT and RECOGNITION. You should be humble”: We’ve been lectured about this since we were born. Other people tell us: “…It’s EGOCENTRIC to seek respect and recognition”. Or “…Seeking for respect and recognition is being SELF-ENTITLED and SPOILED. You need to be humble”
So we FEEL GUILTY and INDECENT; when we THINK of doing it--let alone IMPLEMENTING it. And we won’t even try, because by doing that, we are not being HUMBLE.
The truth: All that is WRONG!
Earning your respect and recognition is a good thing. And you don’t have to rough-house people to get it.
In fact, with it, you can help MORE people. Produce MORE. Impact MORE; and serve MORE. …But that is not what they tell us.
Think about this: When you are stuck in a situation and need help; whom do you turn to? Do you turn to those people who act like doormats? NO.
You turn to a respected person. Yes, someone with social value and influence, for help.
And why are they able to help you? Because they can be listened to when they speak; and taken seriously. They are recognized and respected—and can change other people’s mind in helping you (notice they may not have to help you themselves)
It’s time you throw away the DISTORTED IDEA of what being humble means. It doesn’t mean being a doormat!
• “…You should work with my boss. He never respects or recognizes my contribution.” The “mental barriers” here lies in this thinking: “…I have no control over this. If my boss doesn’t see and recognize my contribution, there is NOTHING I can do about it.”
WRONG and WRONG!
You make your boss see it. You don’t wait; cross your fingers and call upon the stars; hoping that one day you shall be recognized. You make it happen. You bring the fact that you are VALUABLE team-player to his/her attention.
And you don’t have to be rowdy to make it happen. Thinking this is something out of your control is WRONG; and you will have to wait for years—even decades. And you will wonder why your co-workers get respected and recognized; but you don’t.
• “…I’m not in sales-position. My job is more of paperwork; spreadsheet or tech-coding; which has NO direct VALUE in ADDING to the company’s BOTTOM LINE.” The skewed idea (invisible script) here is: “…Companies ONLY exist to MAKE MONEY. And anyone; or if you are not in sales-position where you can make sales and bring in profit; then there is no way showing your EXPLICIT VALUE.”
WRONG!
You don’t need to be in sales-position to show your value; and there is value in exactly what you do—that’s why they hired you. But you need to uncover it; and show it.
• “I don’t want to be that ‘Special one’ who gets MORE than anyone else”: The metal barriers (Invisible scripts) here are: “…Getting MORE than everyone else is EVIL” ...and “…If you got ‘up there’, you must have stepped on others”
WRONG. WRONG. WRONG!
You can get ‘up there’ ETHICALLY by being of value to others.
Plus, we think that being like everyone else; is ethical…and having privileges—most people DON’T HAVE--is unethical. WRONG!
To the contrary, having privileges and earning more positions you to help others in a way that you couldn’t otherwise. Besides, if you give more value; it’s okay to get more in return.
What is WRONG is actually being the same as everyone else; when you can be better.
• “…I am an INTROVERT and can’t TOOT my own horn”: We think we have to be boisterous—like that extroverted sales-person—to get other people to see your value. WRONG!
You can let others know how much value you’ve brought on-board without needing to be loud and gregarious.
In fact, tooting your horn is the WORST thing to do to gain respect from your boss—and co-workers. Showing how much value you offer; and gaining respect and recognition doesn’t require you to be an extrovert at all.
I shall show you how to do it—even if you are an introvert.
(And by the way; if for some reason you are having issues with being an introvert, and you need some help with that click here and check Felicia's site.
Notice how all the above INVISIBLE SCRIPTS makes us FEEL GUILTY about gaining or earning respect; recognition; and more privileges. We fear others will JUDGE US for it. Even WORSE, we JUDGE OURSELVES for doing anything that will get us there.
We let others control the outcomes of our career; rather than TAKE CONTROL of it!
Yet, when you realize how critical recognition; respect; earning more; and getting other privileges is. When you deeply understand how it can change your career trajectory; and position you to help others.
When you realize it’s ACTUALLY the RIGHT THING to do; and you don’t have to change your personality—be extroverted-- to do it. Or use unethical means to gain it; then you can DEMOLISH the invisible scripts that have been holding you back.
And give yourself every advantage to not only WIN in your job; but also turn that job into something you love; rather than something you DREAD every morning!
Truth is; gaining the respect; and recognition you deserve--for your contribution—from your boss and co-workers; is an ASSET. Not an “EGO thing”; or “SELF-SERVING pursuits”.
Not having it is MISSING a CRITICAL COMPONENT not only in your career advancement; but also locking out other great opportunities in your life. And this is not just about you; it’s locking-out opportunities for other people too.
In the next material (and others after it), I will be showing you how to strategically: 1) Build your reputation; and 2) earn respect and recognition from your boss –and co-workers.
We’ll cover the EXACT step-by-step systematic process you can use TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN even if:
- You are in a position that doesn’t ADD direct profit to the company bottom line. (No need to change job position)
- You are introverted and wonder how to show your value to your boss.(No need to change your personality)
- You have been ignored before; and you feel your job is becoming stale. (Your job can become exciting again and you can attract new challenges)
For today, here is what I want you to do…
What To DO:
1) Make a list of other INVISIBLE SCRIPTS you have around EARNING respect; recognition; and other privileges.
2) “Flip the scripts around” and list the opposite POSITIVE REWARDS you would get if you overcame those psychological barriers—to gain respect and recognition.
3) Leave 1-3 of those invisible scripts as a comment below or at Prince on Google +.
Tweet this material and/or leave a comment here at Prince on Facebook. You can connect with me @PrincemulwaEric
Don't miss next week's material!.
Prince
P.S Some of the things we’ll be covering are part of what we cover in the WYNI course. An in-depth interviewing course you will never find anywhere else.
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